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2007-05-29

The Shallowness  


I'm to the point now where I'm frustrated with a lot of people in my life who weren't friends but associates...and I'm wondering if I was as shallow as I now see they are. I get frustrated when I think about it...and yes, since these are not necessarily my friends, it really doesn't matter. But regardless...I'm questioning what type of people I chose to hang around.

So just because HE doesn't play football, doesn't wear white tees, doesn't wear his jeans extra baggy, doesn't stand on the wall in the club, doesn't consider rubbing his dick all over some random chick's booty to be dancing...HE's less of a man? HE's not good enough for me? I shouldn't talk to HIM?

So you think you have the right to turn your nose up at HIM? Crack jokes about HIM? Mumble things under your breath and snicker to your other shallow friends? Oh but you're not man/woman enough to say them out loud?!

Last time I checked, a person's....

style of dress,
profession,
physical characteristics...

didn't dictate their worthiness to be in a relationship with another person.

I guess if HE wore white tees, HE'd be gangsta enough to take care of me?
I guess if HE wore a jersey instead of a dress shirt for work, HE'd be "cool enough?"
and I suppose if HE was six inches taller, HE wouldn't be my "bite size" friend?

Are you really that shallow?

If HE makes me laugh,
makes me smile,
makes me happy,
Loves me unconditionally,
is more man than ANY of you football toting, white tee wearing, low self esteem having wannabes could EVER be...
THEN does that mean I'm wrong for loving HIM?

At the end of the day...is it more important to have all the material possessions in the world or all the happiness in the world? You take your pick, but don't you dare judge or look down on me for making my decision and being damn proud with it. When it's late at night, and you can't find your "man," mine will be right beside me. When you're calling and don't get an answer, I'll call and be greeting with, "What's up baby?" When you don't hear from him for two or three days, I'll see HIM everyday. Because it's just that simple...while you're out cleat chasing and being so shallow and materialistic, I'm on to BIGGER and BETTER things. I'm into happiness, I'm into ME, I'm into being comfortable in my own skin, I'm into true black love. So tell me Ms. Cleat Chaser...how does it feel when you're all alone at night, wondering when he's going to call, wanting him to care but knowing deep down there are a dozen more just like you waiting for the same thing. And to you...Mr. YES Mr. Cleat Chaser...how does it feel when you're so caught up living your life through your "friend," that life passes you by and you have nothing to show for it. His life, is NOT your life...be a man, make your own decisions. And I hate to break it to you, but at the end of the day...your boy, is just that...a boy with a few dollars in his pocket. he's looking out for himself, not you and not anyone else.

I can't imagine what your life must be like...truly unhappy with yourself deep down so you seek validation by going for and only going for a certain "type" of man, no let's make that male. That male is never going to validate you and you're never going to be happy until you are first happy with yourself. So before you snicker, or mumble under your breath...check yourself because you don't want none of this...

2007-05-01

The L-Bomb  


Do we have to have a "title" for me to love you?
People love their friends and families. So I can love you and not be in something that has a "title" with you.
Do you need the title to be honest with yourself about your feelings?
I'm confident in who I am. I love me, so it doesn't matter if you love me or not....I'll be aight. And I can say that yeah, I love you...like I'm really feeling you, in your words. And no, it doesn't matter that you haven't said that to me. It doesn't even matter if you never say that to me. I think you're a great person, a great man and I'm proud to say I love you. I'm proud to say I stepped outside of my norm,
after someone tried to steal my joy,
and decided to love you ANYWAY.
Hell no, I'm not scared to say it and
Hell no, I don't care if you ever say it...
I'm comfortable with me loving you and having no "title."

What's in a title?  


I mean, do we really have to title this thing?

Can't we just call it a friendship? a relationship?

Why the title? Because it shows possession...like I belong to you, you belong to me?
But do we ever truly belong to anyone but God?

So if we have a title does that mean...
you'll never leave me?
never break my heart?
won't tell me lies?
always make me smile? not cry?
be faithful?
be respectful?

If we have a title does that mean...
we're going to get married?
both working towards the same goal?
i really know who you are?
i can feel safe and protected when i'm with you?
you'd give me your last?
you truly have my back?

THEN WHY IS THE TITLE RELEVANT?!