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2008-02-21

funk  


Today I feel sick
My head hurts
Badly
My heart is in somewhat of a longing mode
I felt waves of nausea earlier
My eyeballs hurt
And
Most importantly
It’s
Cold
Outside

Then you have nothing to say
No good morning
No hello
Nothing
No I’m sorry
Nothing
Just silence
And that
Damn green dot beside your name

Am I wrong to feel slightly annoyed?
Am I wrong to want newness
Someone who will listen to me
And not make comments like
That’s stupid
You’re stupid
Don’t be silly
You’re being silly
That’s foolish
Those are
Horrible things to say to someone whos
Trying to communicate how they feel
Horrible

And it makes me feel horrible
It makes me want to turn on my heel and
Walk away
Never looking back
Because it’s better to walk away than be left
Right?

Sick of everyone telling me how wonderful things are going in their relationship
Not mad
Just sick…
I am happy for them
I truly am
But why don’t you care enough to make sure our relationship stays happy and new
Sure that I have something to gush to my friends about
Do you feel me

I try
I try
I try so hard
All to no avail
Damn it definitely takes two
To make a thing go right
And without you
I cannot make anything right
Listening
Compassion
Communication
Love
Strength
Enduring
Is what it takes to make it through
But I can’t
Do it
alone