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The Va-Va-Voom  

What's more important?

Instant chemistry or the kind of chemistry that grows after getting to know someone?

When you meet a person that's interested in you, is it right to turn them down solely because theres no va-va-voom?

Isn't it possible to miss out on something great because it may not be what it appears to be on the surface? Don't we all owe it to ourselves and our happiness to look a little deeper into people before we just write them off based on a first impression be it based on physical characteristics or pre conceived notions...

Speaking from experience, those va-va-vooms that exist when you first see someone usually fade. Especially if you don't develop a deeper connection mentally. If the person can't relate to you mentally...then that va-va will most definitely fade. Probably after the first intimate interaction. Then the excitement is over and so is the va-va and you're left feeling like...this is it? This is what I waited for? This is what I was excited about?

On the other hand...say you meet an attractive person and initially they're cool but they just don't have that va-va. You decide to still talk to the person because, hey...what do you have to lose? Now you realize that this person is pretty amazing...he/she makes you laugh, smile, blush, daydream. He/she is interested in a lot of the same things as you, the conversation is so easy it's almost scary. In fact, the two of you have fallen right into step...almost like an unspoken chemistry. You've developed a mental va-va with this person. Which makes intimacy much more intimate. The kind thats like fine gets better with time. Not like that instant va-va that possibly might fade with time. This va-va just continues to grow. So not only do you have mental va-va but physical as well because of the mental. You trust this person...

Not saying that all first va-va instincts fade but that is quite a realistic possibility. But if you develop a mental va-va, you stand a better chance of it lasting over time.

All that to say....

Which va-va do you want?

Which va-va is the best?

Which va-va does in fact last the test of time?



If someone had told me that I'd feel this way a month ago...scratch that even a WEEK ago, I would've laughed in their face. Prior to this I haven't been able to listen to ANY love songs...matter of fact, they disgusted me. The only thing I could bear to listen to was Gospel music. Imagine a hurt that deep....I can't believe I was there myself. But what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. From this hurt and betrayal, I thought I'd never be able to take away anything positive. Matter of fact...I'm still not sure I can do that. My relationship with God has grown TREMENDOUSLY, so that's my positive deduction. Anyway, moving on....this past week. I got my swagga back...LOL! Thanks to a wonderful friend who pushed me to do things I didn't want to do because she thought, "It's good for you. You have to meet more people." Thank God for that amazing friend....she just may have saved my perception of men. Who wants to be a bitter woman? Angry black woman...not I. That's not my style. I'm the fun-loving, bubbly, high maintenance princess. =) I can smile again, I can fall again, I can laugh again, I can listen to LOVE songs again!!! Today is the first day I can listen to the ENTIRE Tamia CD without skipping a song. I'm so serious. It's sad but true. The pain was so deep and this new feeling is so uplifting. I can laugh and want to listen to love songs and sing along. I'm back...finally. I'm back to the days of the school girl crushes only this time around...I'm a woman who knows what she wants. I can have a different crush every week if I want...and I just might, shoooot. I'm excited about crushes, excited about the possibility of falling, excited about what the future brings....I just might fall yall................