Randomness from The PYT

I've decided that the Quarter Life Crisis is real and does in fact definitely exist. In fact, it's serious. I have all these mixed emotions. I want to get married, I want to wait, I want to enjoy being single, I want to enjoy my last years being single, having my body to myself (no babies), I want to save money to prepare for a better future, I want to be FABULOUS and wear all the trends because I have money & can afford them...I want to be engaged, I want to shack up with boyfriend, I want a house.

This is such a crucial time in life. One day I feel one thing and the next it's another. Topsy-turvey, which way to go...am I making the right decisions & choices or am I ruining my life by doing what I want instead of waiting and listening to God. The decisions I make right now could greatly affect the rest of my life, but wait! I should be happy & enjoy life as well. Isn't this the time where I do what I want, go where I want, buy what I want? Only thing is...sometimes I'm not sure what I want, where to go, or what to buy.

Ahhh, Mr. Quarter Life. Is that you knocking on my sanity?
Threatening to tear apart my peace of mind and constantly reminding me that the clock is ticking...

I want to enjoy right now, realizing that the moments that pass are just that, the past. They can never be reclaimed or brought back. They'll only happen once in my lifetime, so shouldn't I enjoy each moment, no matter how painful it is, knowing that one day I'll look back and be glad I experienced it. Or should I worry about what tomorrow holds because if I'm too careless I could ruin my tomorrows.

Ahhh...Mr. Quarter Life, there you are again.
Causing me to question my every move,
In my ear whispering not to throw caution to the wind...

I pray about tomorrow, so therefore I shouldn't worry about it. I know this, and I believe this with every fiber in my being. Yet it's so hard sometimes not to think about the unknown. It's so difficult to just enjoy the moment for just what it is, a moment. Knowing that tomorrow will bring new moments and not to worry about tomorrow but just to let it be, because regardless it's going to come anyway. But I do think about tomorrow, I think about my house, my money, my clothes, my engagement, my wedding, my husband, my children...and the funny thing is, all of those things will come in time. But will they come if I don't ever think about them? I kind of have to be mindful and conscious otherwise I could screw up my tomorrow because I'm too intertwined in today's moments.

So the key must be to allow Mr. Quarter Life to do his thing because without him, I may throw too much caution to the wind but also know that with God I'm allowed to enjoy my precious moments because I know He's gonna handle all of my tomorrows.

Then I will enjoy today and all the moments it brings but remember to be aware of tomorrow and the moments it will surely bring.